I write this post on the eve of May 1, 2011. United States President Barak Obama has just announced the killing of Osama bin Laden, self-proclaimed author of the tragic events of September 11, 2001.
When the towers fell and the Pentagon burned, I was not a spiritual director. My response at that time was to process the event for myself in the written word, and to gather with friends in the DC area where I lived to remember together that even in the midst of tragedy, there is hope.
In many ways, my journey as a spiritual director finds echoes and resonances in my responses to the events of that day. So, it's not a surprise to me that as I listened to the announcement this evening, my heart turned toward those with whom I journey, and the many, many others who were hearing and beginning the process of hearing, assimilating and responding to this news.
As a Christian spiritual director, it is my priviledge and responsibility to hold a prayerful space for others as they encounter God and are drawn into a redemption of their truest selves. While it would seem that this holy listening might not include either mundane moments or world events, the truth is that God is speaking and working through all things—not just the things that we think are "spiritual."
This evening, I sit in the tensions that are held in Micah 6:8 (He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.), Proverbs 24:17 (“Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles.”), Ezekiel 18:23 (Do you think I take any pleasure in the death of wicked men and women? Isn't it my pleasure that they turn around, no longer living wrong but living right—really living?) and Matthew 5:43-45 (You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.) These are my personal tensions, and I believe they are the uncomfortable but important intersections of justice and mercy. In them, I sit in my unknowing, clinging to the Cross and the knowledge that my thoughts are not God's thoughts.
In the same way, as a director, I hold my own perceptions and tensions lightly and with grace. They may not be the spaces in which my directees now sit—each has his or her own story. Some are active duty members of the military, some work actively with peace movements. Some lost friends in the attacks of 9/11, some were simply devastated by the losses of others. In each of these spaces, the impact of world events such as this evening's events reverberate differently.
As anam cara, my ears are attuned to the whispers of the Spirit—not in this announcement or any other world event—but in how those events are echoing into the soul of the person before me. What might be the fresh invitation of God to that soul as he or she experiences the emotions and reactions to this event? Where might God be showing His love more deeply, or calling forth specific action?
For many, today's events bring with them a seed of something that may not germinate for some time to come. The questions and reflections may be premature, or there may be other soul work to be done before the time is right to consider what the message of these moments may be. At the same time, the impact of the president's announcement should not be either minimized or aggrandized—there has been an important shift in the global political stories around us, and for some there has been no shift at all.
As one who directs, holding space for world events to enter into the direction session is vital to who I am, what I do and what I believe. God is at work in all of the aspects of our lives, bringing redemption, mercy, justice, truth and, most of all, love. These moments in time are an invitation to attention, to be truly present to what is going on in and around us. These are the liminal moments of transformation that bear within them the seeds of change and hope.
So… whether you're reading this on the evening of May 1, 2011, or at any other time, I invite you to some attention and reflection, to mindfulness in the face of this particular world event.
First, take a few deep, slow breaths. Become aware of yourself, aware of how you feel as you sit before your computer or phone. Notice if there is anything particular happening in your body—is there a knot in your stomach or your throat? Do you feel stiff or tense anywhere?
Gently breathe into those spaces.
When you're ready, consider meditating on or journaling with the following questions. If you would like, you can spend time with all of them or you can simply answer the question that you are most drawn to.
1. When I first heard the news that Osama bin Laden was dead, what was my primary emotion? Relief? Anxiety? Pleasure? Sadness? Some other emotion?
What might this emotion be revealing to me about myself? About others? About God?
2. Was there a particular response made by those around me that was either strongly disturbing or strongly encouraging? What might my responses to others be revealing to me about my areas of attachment? What might Christ be inviting me to in regards to the particular person who made that remark?
3. Christ's sacrifice on the Cross bring the terrible and beautiful intersection of justice and mercy into vivid detail. Is there an aspect of the story of the Crucifixion that resonates with you as you contemplate the news announced by President Obama?
4. The passages mentioned above (Micah 6:8, Proverbs 24:17, Ezekiel 18:23 and Matthew 5:43-45) all invite us into loving people whom we can legitimately call our enemies. God doesn't ask us to call them anything other than what they are—but He does call us to love them. What were your primary reactions as you read those passages? Were there any images, colors, smells or sounds that stood out to you when you read or heard them? Spend some time with God reflecting honestly on His words and your reactions. If you don't like what He's saying in these passages, feel free to tell Him that. Be authentic. Speak from the heart. When you have had a chance to react, enter into silence for at least 5 minutes. Notice your interior state after you've had this discussion with God. Listen for the still, small voice and the revelation of God's love and movement—through the Scriptures, through your dialogue with Him, and in His movements in the silence.
