I admit it. I have a problem. If I have a besetting sin, it’s books. Or, better said, buying books. And now, it’s confession time because, sadly, there are at least 10 books that I own that I can put on a list of books that own but I’m embarrassed I haven’t read yet. Note: These are the books that I’m actually embarrassed about. There are a few others that I don’t feel the least bothered by owning but not having read, because, well, they were either bought because I thought I should or because I was told to for a seminary class and never got through them (I never could drum up the requisite amount of shame for not reading books during my over-burdened seminary years, despite trying valiantly.)
I’ve also strategically placed this blog post on the Fourth of July because, well, I’m actually embarrassed about this list. I paid good money for these books. I really ought to be reading them. And they are all really. good. books. But they keep being displaced by newer (or older) books that called my attention. I’m just too flighty. And that drives me nuts.
*takes a deep breath*
So, here I am. Confessing to you. Getting this off my chest and admitting that, well, there are perfectly good books on my shelves that I haven’t read yet.
The Solace of Fierce Landscapes: Exploring Desert and Mountain Spirituality by Belden C. Lane
This book is embarrassing for the sheer amount of time that I’ve owned it and intended to read it. For about five years, I’ve looked at this book on my shelf and thought, “I really want to read that. I should read that. I need to figure out when I’m going to read that.”
I mean, I live on the side of a mountain in high desert territory. You should think I’d have picked it up by now.
“In the tradition of Kathleen Norris, Terry Tempest Williams, and Thomas Merton, The Solace of Fierce Landscapes explores the impulse that has drawn seekers into the wilderness for centuries and offers eloquent testimony to the healing power of mountain silence and desert indifference.
Interweaving a memoir of his mother’s long struggle with Alzheimer’s and cancer, meditations on his own wilderness experience, and illuminating commentary on the Christian via negativa–a mystical tradition that seeks God in the silence beyond language–Lane rejects the easy affirmations of pop spirituality for the harsher but more profound truths that wilderness can teach us. “There is an unaccountable solace that fierce landscapes offer to the soul. They heal, as well as mirror, the brokeness we find within.” It is this apparent paradox that lies at the heart of this remarkable book: that inhuman landscapes should be the source of spiritual comfort. Lane shows that the very indifference of the wilderness can release us from the demands of the endlessly anxious ego, teach us to ignore the inessential in our own lives, and enable us to transcend the “false self” that is ever-obsessed with managing impressions. Drawing upon the wisdom of St. John of the Cross, Meister Eckhardt, Simone Weil, Edward Abbey, and many other Christian and non-Christian writers, Lane also demonstrates how those of us cut off from the wilderness might “make some desert” in our lives.”
Why wouldn’t I want to read this?
Healing Presence: Curing The Soul Through Union With Christ by LeAnne Payne
This one embarrasses me because so many people I love and respect rave about it. I own it and intended to read it. I’ve even picked it up a few times and gotten a few pages in, only to be distracted by something else. As someone who lives that ministry of presence with others, I would expect to find it really helpful. But I just ain’t got to it yet.
The Orthodox Way by Bishop Kallistos Ware
This one I’m both embarrassed and saddened to say I haven’t read yet. It’s a slim volume, a spiritual classic really, and I haven’t picked it up. Although I’m not Orthodox, I love Orthodox theology and am drawn to the beauty of the Orthodox tradition. I also feel really undereducated when it comes to the history and tenets of the Orthodox Church in a way that feels disrespectful to my Orthodox brothers and sisters. That makes me sad.
“Love and hatred are not merely subjective feelings, affecting the inward universe of those who experience them, but they are also objective forces, altering the world outside ourselves…if this is true of my love, it is true to an incomparably greater extent of Christ’s love. The victory of his suffering love upon the Cross does not merely set me an example, showing me what I myself may achieve if by my own efforts I imitate him. Much more than this, his suffering love has a creative effect upon me, transforming my own heart and will, releasing me from bondage, making me whole, rendering it possible for me to love in a way that would lie altogether beyond my powers, had I not first been loved by him.”
The Color of Light: Poems on Van Gogh’s Late Paintings by Marilyn Chandler McEntyre
This one made the list because I love McEntyre’s Caring for Words in a Culture of Lies. I love poetry. I love Van Gogh. I love the connections between light in art and our realizations of profound spiritual truths. I find McEntyre’s other book, Drawn to the Light: Poems on Rembrandt’s Religions Paintings, both restful and enlightening. But I haven’t picked this one up.
Here’s what an Amazon reviewer had to say about it:
I love VanGogh’s paintings and, as a journalist for many years, I’ve made a point of visiting exhibitions around the world that include his works. But, until I read McEntyre’s book, I had never stopped to think that the famous painting of Van Gogh’s bedroom at Arles includes two chairs and two doorways. I can close my eyes and see this painting after all these years—and, yet, I had never thought of the spiritual implications of two chairs and two doors in this tiny room in this emotionally charged placed in VanGogh’s life.
McEntyre doesn’t belabor these points. Her entire poem on the Arles’ bedroom is shorter than this book review. And yet -I will never look at that painting in the same way, again, having encountered McEntyre’s poetic meditation on the images. I thank her for the seasons she spent reflecting on these images! Through this book, she has become a companion in future reflections in galleries both of bricks and mortar—and galleries of spiritual reflection.
Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer by Richard Rohr
Love him or hate him, Father Richard Rohr has had a profound influence on the landscape of modern contemplative Christianity. I’ve heard him speak, interviewed him and listened to several of his webcasts. I get his Daily Meditation. And yet, I haven’t picked up this book despite the fact that contemplative Christianity is my bread and butter. *shakes her head at herself*
Peace Like A River by Lief Enger
This is another one that I’m more sad than embarrassed to have left unread. Because of the ways that this book has touched some of the most grounded, Godly people I know, I believe that it will be balm to my soul, as well. Sometimes we just don’t pick up the thing that will heal us, no matter how much we know we need it.
“Once traveling, it’s remarkable how quickly faith erodes. It starts to look like something else—ignorance, for example. Same thing happened to the Israelites. Sure it’s weak, but sometimes you’d rather just have a map.” ― Leif Enger, Peace Like a River
The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris
Amazing Grace and Dakota would make this list, too, if I but owned them. I’m embarrassed that I haven’t read this one because it touches so close the home spiritually and literarily.
“I wonder if children don’t begin to reject both poetry and religion for similar reasons, because the way both are taught takes the life out of them.”
God In the Dock: Essays on Theology and Ethics by C. S. Lewis
I’ve read so much Lewis, he may as well be my patron saint. (Although, if I had one, it probably would be another cranky Anglican, Evelyn Underhill.) I’m not sure how I’ve missed reading this collection of essays. I know they would feed me, but I haven’t found the time or space to pick this volume up of the shelf. Admittedly, I didn’t pay good money for this one myself. I inherited it as shared property when I married my husband. I should ask him if he’s actually read it.
On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Non-Fiction by William Zinsser
The sheer number of books on writing that I own is embarrassing in and of itself. Thankfully, I’ve read most of them. This one, though, I haven’t gotten to. I think I burned out somewhere along the line, or simply realized that what I needed to do was stop reading books about writing and just write. That’s my excuse, anyway. I bought this book three years ago from Eighth Day Books at the Glen Workshop and haven’t cracked the spine since. I suspect I’m going to go on feeling embarrassed about this one for a long time.
Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising Connections between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices That Can Transform Your Life and Relationships by Curt Thompson
That’s a mouthful of a subtitle, I know, but this final book made the list because it’s current, relevant to my work and, from what I hear from others, transformative. Like anyone in a helping profession, I want to stay connected to the flow of the field that I’m in. Anatomy of the Soul synthesizes recent findings in the field of neuroscience with the ancient practices of Christianity in a way that affirms and undergirds what the Church Fathers and Mothers have been saying for centuries. That alone sounded exciting enough for me to purchase the book. Sadly, haven’t gotten to it yet.
“Remember that emotion is not a debatable phenomenon. It is an authentic reflection of our subjective experience, one that is best served by attending to it.”
So, now that I’ve confessed, what about you? Are there books that you own that you’ve never read? Are you part of the Willard Wishful community, the phalanx of people who own The Divine Conspiracy but have never read it? (I was, for a much longer time than I’d care to admit.)
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Check back in each day for a new list, and be sure to click on over to Sarah’s blog to read hers as well. I mean, hey, she has a fancy button and everything:
Monday: 10 books that formed me spiritually
Tuesday: 10 books that I keep in my spiritual direction room
Wednesday: 10 books that I own but am embarrassed I haven’t read
Thursday: 10 books that help me pray
Friday: 10 books that remind me God’s the Great Storyteller
Saturday: 10 books I read on the weekends
Sunday: 20 books I read while writing my book
