2011 - Anam Cara Ministries

An Encouragement to Silence

Posted on November 7, 2011 by Tara Owens

In looking through papers today, I found this poem. Perhaps it found me. Either way, I was encouraged to stillness and silence. I pray you are, as well.

Stone

By Charles Simic

Go inside a stone

That would be my way.

Let somebody else become a dove

Or gnash with a tiger’s tooth.

I am happy to be a stone.

From the outside the stone is a riddle.

No one knows how to answer it.

Yet within, it must be cool and quiet.

Even though a cow steps on it full weight,

Even though a child throws it in a river;

The stone sinks, slow, unperturbed

To the river bottom

Where the fishes come to knock on it

And listen.

I have seen sparks fly out

When two stones are rubbed,

So perhaps there is a moon shining

From somewhere, as though behind a hill—

Just enough light to make out

The strange writings, the star-charts

On the inner walls.

Friday Favorite: God With Us

Posted on November 4, 2011 by Tara Owens

It’s about that time of year when my heart starts its gentle turn toward Advent. It’s the end of the 31st week of Ordinary Time, and slowly, quietly I’m feeling the stirrings of the desire for the extraordinary.

Like most of us, though, I am aware that my heart’s stirrings need to be tended carefully. Guarded even. It’s so easy to slip from a deep desire for the extraordinariness of God to a consumerist desire simply for something, anything extraordinary. Something to give me a spiritual high, without requiring anything of me. To make me go oooh, ahhhhh and leave me totally unchanged.

The Church Fathers and Mothers knew about this tendency, this infinitisimal shift that sometimes happens within us when our God is kindling our hearts and our habits of fallenness want to take over. That’s where the disciplines and the beauty of Advent provide a generous, gentle structure to guide us toward our desires, toward God.

Advent starts “early” this year. Since Christmas falls on a Sunday (glorious feast day!), the march of the Sundays before Christmas begins on November 27, the Sunday after American Thanksgiving. I’ve already been asked by a few directees which resources I might recommend to tend the flickering wicks of their hearts into the flame of God this Christmas season.

And so, today’s Friday Favorite.

God With Us: Rediscovering the Meaning of Christmas is one of my beloved resources for the Advent journey. My husband and I have walked through it together for these past four years, and both of our copies are well-thumbed with prayer. Not only does it walk through each day of Advent, with Scripture readings and stunning artwork, but it also explains the history and the depth of the feast days during this season, from the Feast of St. Nicholas (December 6) to the Feast of the Holy Innocents (December 28), and everything before and betwixt.

Plus, look at the authors:

Scott Cairns is the author of six poetry collections, including Compass of Affection. He is Professor of English at the University of Missouri, and a recent Guggenheim Fellow.

Emilie Griffin is the author of Doors Into Prayer, Turning, and Wonderful and Dark is This Road.

Richard John Neuhaus is a Catholic priest and one of the leading voices on religion and culture in America. He is the founder and editor of the journal First Things.

Kathleen Norris is an award-winning poet and bestselling author of Dakota: A Spiritual Geography and The Cloister Walk.

Eugene Peterson is a pastor, author, and professor emeritus of theology at Regent College. He is the author of the popular paraphrase of the Bible, The Message.

Luci Shaw is a poet and writer-in-residence at Regent College in Vancouver.

Editor Gregory Wolfe is writer-in-residence and director of the Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing program at Seattle Pacific University and the founder and editor of Image. Greg Pennoyer is the co-founder of the Centre for Cultural Renewal in Ottawa, Canada, and the Project Director for Incarnation: A Recovery of Meaning, an international art exhibition.

So, if you’re looking for a resource, a guide, an tending for this Advent—look no further. And if you order it now, you’ll be sure to receive it in time to start the first reading on November 27. I’ll join you.

A Word About Hope

Posted on November 3, 2011 by Tara Owens

Just because the tide has gone out doesn’t mean there is less water.

Feast of All Souls

Posted on November 2, 2011 by Tara Owens

In a flurry of liturgical activity, the past few days in the Church calendar have been full of feasts and commemorations. Many of these days may be unfamiliar and perhaps even disconcerting to those who have grown up without any exposure to the Church Calendar and the practice of commemorating the lives of those who have gone before us.

The commemoration of the Feast of All Souls is further problematic for Protestants, as this is a day set aside to purposefully pray for the souls of the dead. This practice is familiar to those who have grown up in the Catholic tradition, based on the text of II Maccabees and the Catechism of the Roman Catholic Church. This tradition holds that after death, our souls spend time in a place called Purgatory, where we do penance for the sins committed on Earth in order to be purified for our reception into eternal life in Heaven.

Whether or not you hold to Catholic tradition, though, All Souls can be a deeply meaningful time of reflecting on those in our lives who have passed before us. It can be a time of reflecting on the gifts that they have given us, or even a releasing of the pains and abuses of the past in an extension of forgiveness that unburdens us from carrying them with us in our daily lives.

I’ve also seen how All Souls can be a beautiful commemoration of those children who have gone before us, unnamed and unknown, lost to abortion or miscarriage.

Consider stepping past the aspects of All Souls that seem unusual or uncertain to you and leaning into a commemoration of both life and death. As St. Benedict suggests, we should have death daily before us. Not in a morbid or obsessive manner, but in a way that inspires us to live lives of love, joy and peace in this moment.

If you’re interested, here are a few prayers that can be prayed today. You might also think about visiting a cemetary (which isn’t as dark or frightening as it sounds—did you know the Mount of Olives where Jesus spent his last night before His Passion is a large cemetary?), or praying for those in your community who are slowly or rapidly dying without family or friends around them.

• • •

O God, the Maker and Redeemer of all believers:
Grant to the faithful departed the unsearchable benefits of the passion of your Son;
that on the day of his appearing they may be manifested as your children;
through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and ever. Amen

source: TEC IUSA

Merciful God,
your Son is the resurrection and the life
of all the faithful;
raise us from the death of sin
to the life of righteousness
that at the last,
with all your faithful servants,
we may come to your eternal joy;
through our Saviour Jesus Christ
[who is alive with you
in the unity of the Holy Spirit
one God, now and for ever]

NZPB p.689
The above prayer is a revision of a 1549 collect for the funeral Eucharist.
Cranmer probably borrowed it from a collect in the Dirige in Bishop Hilsey’s Primer of 1539. Cf. the 1552 & 1662 final prayer in the Burial Service. Also Alternative Service Book (CofE) p834. Commemoration of the Faithful Departed. cf. ASB p612 Collect for Easter 3. NB Jn 11:25f

Father of all,
we pray to you for those we love, but see no longer.
Grant them your peace,
let light perpetual shine upon them,
and in your loving wisdom and almighty power,
work in them the good purpose of your perfect will;
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever.

Book of Alternative Services (Anglican Church of Canada) p.429

And When The Saints…

Posted on November 1, 2011 by Tara Owens

In the Western church calendar, November 1 is All Saint’s Day. Traditionally know as Hallowmas (hallows meaning saints and mass being the service or celebration) or All Hallows, the evening before came to be known as All Hallows Eve, or Halloween. Although the latter has most of the culture’s attention, All Saint’s Day is the actual celebration of the saints, both past and present.

So, what is All Saint’s Day? Originally established more than a thousand years ago, All Saint’s is a day dedicated to the people of God—past, present and future. Although attention is focused on those saints who have gone before (see this post on ‘Why Dead People Matter’), there is a real celebration of the great cloud of witnesses of which the current Church is a part.

On November 1, we recognize that we have inherited a great legacy in the lives of those who have lived faithfully and well before us. We humbly admit that we cannot go it alone. And we gratefully give thanks that God never meant us to.

If you’d like, consider praying one or both of these prayers at least once during the day today.

Almighty God,
who hast knit together thine elect
in one communion and fellowship
in the mystical body of Your Son, Christ our Lord:
Give us grace so to follow Your blessed saints
in all virtuous and godly living,
that we may come
to those ineffable joys
that thou hast prepared for those
who unfeignedly love thee;
through the same Jesus Christ our Lord,
who with thee and the Holy Spirit liveth and reigneth,
one God, in glory everlasting. Amen

Book of Common Prayer, 1979

Father, All-Powerful and ever-living God,
today we rejoice in the holy men and women
of every time and place.
May their prayers bring us your forgiveness and love
We ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Liturgy of the Hours

Why Dead People Matter

Posted on October 31, 2011 by Tara Owens

Around the world on October 31, men, women and children don costumes ranging from cute to creepy. Halloween is now the second largest holiday after Christmas, and, whatever your beliefs, whatever your perspective on this day, you will be hard-pressed not to encounter one or more costumed undoubtedly darling tot asking you for a “trick or treat!”

While there are a variety of valid reasons for both participating and choosing not to participate in the more popular Halloween traditions (wearing costumes, trick-or-treating), there is one thing that I think the day helps me to remember: the importance of dead people.

When I say ‘dead people’, I’m not talking about zombies, vampires or any other versions of the undead that you’ll see in costume and on the screen (TV or movie) today. It may be easy to get fascinated with the macabre or frightening—and there is some sociological evidence that zombies are tapping into a certain post-modern angst that we all feel —but I think there something uplifting to be found in focusing on dead people, without the gore and guts.

You see, most of us are addicted to the new, the current, the popular. If you’ve ever been overcome by a desire for the newest device, the latest fashion or even a desire to visit the new restaurant in town despite the fact that you hate Mexican, you know what I mean. Popular culture pushes us toward what’s “this minute”, relegating yesterday’s experiences into the place of the passé, the uncool. If you own an Apple product of any kind, you’ve felt the dejection of having whatever your newest thing is surpassed by the next-newest.

And that’s why I like dead people. Dead people aren’t interested in keeping up appearances, aren’t up on the latest trends, and really don’t care if you have the most recent do-dad. On top of that, most of the dead people who have written things down have lots of really wise things to say about the spiritual life and how to live well with God (before and after you die.)

If you’d like a primer, Renovaré just came out with a wonderful compilation of writings by dead people—being dead was, in fact, one of the criteria for being included in the book. It’s called 25 Books Every Christian Should Read, and despite its somewhat intimidating title it is a great entrée into the spiritual classics. There are 25 entries, each with a small excerpt of important writings of really smart (you guessed it) dead people. There’s some history of what the person did before they were dead, and some helpful thoughts and questions for reflection.

Alternately, you can do what I did which was slog, ahem, suffer, ahem, swing through a semester’s worth of the spiritual classics in seminary. Personally, I think picking up 25 Books and learning which of the dead people you’re most drawn to is a better idea. Then pick up a full-length version of their works and get to know them a little more deeply. Dead people can be a lot of fun.

11 Questions to Ask A Prospective Spiritual Director

Posted on October 28, 2011 by Tara Owens

You’ve heard about spiritual direction, and learned as much as you can about it. You’re ready to begin the process of finding a spiritual director to accompany you as you walk with God. As I tell those with whom I’m exploring a spiritual direction relationship, it’s important to ask all the questions that you want in order to get to know your prospective director. Sometimes, though, it’s hard to know where to start, so here’s a list of 11 questions that might be helpful to ask during your first session with a prospective spiritual director.

1. What kind of training did you undertake to become a spiritual director?

This question helps you understand the background and training of your director. You may be more comfortable with a director who has gone through an accredited program, or a supervised practicum in spiritual direction. On the other hand, someone who has been giving direction for a long time but may not have gone through a formal program. What is most importnat to you?

2. How long have you been giving spiritual direction?

You can ask this question in terms of years, or in terms of hours. Some directors may have been giving direction for years, but have only had one or two directees during that time. Others may not have been giving direction for as long, but have a number of directees, meaning that they have a greater total hours of experience. While the numbers themselves may not be important to you, understanding the level of direct experience your director has in the practice of direction is helpful to know.

3. Do you have a spiritual director?

Someone who practices spiritual direction definitely understands the value of having a spiritual director as they journey with God. I believe that spiritual directors should, where possible, be in direction themselves as they care for their own spiritual lives.

4. Do you have a supervisor or a peer group?

This is an extremely important question to ask. One of the ways that a spiritual director cares for you and tends your soul is to actively seek accountability and supervision of peers or those in spiritual authority. This process helps your director grow and allows them to seek consultation and wisdom.

5. Are you part of any professional spiritual direction associations? Do you hold to a formal code of ethics from any of these?

There are numerous spiritual direction associations that have a formal code of ethics for spiritual direction. Whether your director is part of these associations is something that can help you decide on the right director for you. More often, directors who have a private practice or are only loosely associated with a church will be part of these associations. Sometimes directors who are part of a monastery have enough accountability within their order that they feel other associations are unneccesary.

6. What’s your guiding image of spiritual direction?

Each director holds one or more images of what the spiritual direction relationship is to him or her. Whether this is as a companion, mentor, guide, friend or any other image, knowing what guides them in their practice of direction will help you know if this director fits well with your desires for the spiritual direction relationship.

7. What has your journey with God been like?

Some people might feel that this is too personal a question to ask a spiritual director; however, this is someone with whom you’ll be sharing one of the most intimate areas of your life—your spiritual journey. Feel free to ask them about their journey wtih God. Not only will this help establish relationship, you’ll learn a lot about your director’s background, assumptions about God, and spiritual history.

8. What is your experience tending your own life of prayer, contemplation and meditation?

Again, this seems like a deeply personal question, but it’s one that your director will be asking you on a regular basis. Learning more about your director’s practices will help you understand if this person is a good match for you.

9. What kind of on-going education or enrichment in spiritual direction are you undertaking?

The spiritual journey is never static—neither is the practice of spiritual direction. It’s important to know what your director is doing to continue learning and growing, placing him or herself under a teacher to grow in the practice of spiritual direction.

10. What kind of covenant or agreement will we establish between us in the on-going spiritual direction relationship?

While some directors prefer an informal, spoken covenant (including, necessarily, confidentiality), I personally prefer a written agreement that both the director and directee sign in order to establish roles, responsiblities and appropriate boundaries. This can sometimes seem like “just paperwork” but a formal agreement help you to feel safe and protected within the direction relationship. This agreement also helps you to understand the spiritual perspective that your director will be operating from. As a Christian spiritual director, I welcome people from other faiths or those who are seeking God in my spiritual direction practice; that said, my agreement document states that I practice from a Christian perspective and will be talking about Jesus. It also clarifies that I’m comfortable with Christians from all denominations, and I make space for differing theological viewpoints and understandings without needing to change them. Ask yourself how important it is for you to have a Catholic director if you are Catholic, or a Protestant director if you are Protestant. Would an Orthodox director be okay for you, even if you’re Jewish? Coming to the initial session with these questions answered will help you make the right decision for you.

11. Do you charge for spiritual direction? If so, how much?

This last question sometimes gets taken for granted. Some spiritual directors wouldn’t think of charging for direction, and others have established a private practice in which they charge a specific amount per session or per hour. Other directors charge on a sliding scale of donation. If payment is a hardship, speak candidly with a potential spiritual director about that. In some cases, even paying a minimal amount toward direction helps you to understand the investment in your spiritual growth that meeting with a spiritual director is, and creates value in dedicating the time to that endeavor.

• • •

Was this list helpful to you?

Are there other questions that you think should be asked in the initial spiritual direction appointment? What might they be?

What Is It We Do Here?

Posted on October 12, 2011 by Tara Owens

Pilgrim: What is it that you do here? Monk: We fall, and we get up again. –Scott Cairns

Bigger Than God

Posted on October 11, 2011 by Tara Owens

I don't know what age the monsters-in-the-closet fear hits most kids, but for me, it was age 8. I'd been to see, of all things, Gremlins—my first movie theater experience. It terrified me. After that time I needed at least a night light in every room, and the door needed to stay open.

It's reassuring, I think, that this phase is a common enough phenomenon among children that Pixar created an animated film about it—the delightful Monsters, Inc.—reminding us all that the things we imagine are out to get us may be our best allies, after all.

At left, the main child character, a mostly preverbal Boo, holds up a picture of the monster that she's seen, Randall, in an effort to convince her parents that there actually is a monster in her closet and it really is out to get her, justifying her nightly descent into ear drum fracturing screams. And, in this story, Boo is right. There is a monster. He is after her.

But there are other monsters that aren't out to get her, and, along with a blue, hairy monster named Sulley, Boo's journey brings her face to face with her fears so that she can be set free from them.

Boo, like us, has to trust someone bigger than her to guide her into a place she'd really rather not go. Pretty good metaphor for the spiritual life, wouldn't you say?

Five years ago, that place for me was a looming descent into depression. I could feel it coming. The signature malaise and lack of energy. The tears. Five years before that, with the help of great counselors and much prayer, I'd stepped away from a major depression that had crippled my life. With these new signs on the horizon, I was terrified of going there one more time.

Then, a friend of mine asked me a question that I thought was sacreligious (but later came to recognize as the very voice of God): If God asked you to step into depression, would you go?

He'd never ask me that, I said. God isn't cruel. He wouldn't do that.

That's beside the point, my friend said. Would you go?

No, I thought. No, no, no, NO.

And in that answer, I knew that I had a fear that was, to me, bigger than God. It controlled me more than God did. It dictated how I acted, and how much I would trust Him.

I won't say that I went willingly to that closet door of mine. But, after some kicking and screaming, I took God's hand and walked up to the very place that frightened me the most.

And you know what? Unlike Boo's story, there was no monster in my closet. No depression waiting to consume me from the inside out. There was release, and freedom, and a realization that perfect love really does cast out all fear.

A Dedication to Your Own Journey

Posted on October 10, 2011 by Tara Owens

There are many things that bring a person to spiritual direction. Sometimes it's a crisis of circumstance, unexpected suffering, a crisis of faith or a feeling of dryness in prayer. Occasionally, what causes someone to search for a director is a deep longing for more, a dedication to the person's own journey with God.

I recently came across a blog entry by someone on the search for a new spiritual director in his area. I love how seriously he's taking this process, discerning carefully through each step of the search.

I recommend that anyone searching for a spiritual director—whatever your faith tradition or life position—employ this kind of care and patience. The director-directee relationship really is a holy friendship, and it should be entered into only after a time of prayer and consideration.

Later this week, I'll be posting a series of questions that I recommend you ask anyone you're considering entering into a spiritual direction or spiritual friendship relationship with.