I first “met” Kristin Ritzau on the pages of her book, A Beautiful Mess: A Perfectionist’s Journey Through Self-Care (go buy it now, seriously). As I read, I discovered a kindred spirit, a young woman intent on living well and yet tired of the brutal violence done to her own soul in the name of “performance” or “perfectionism.” Not only was I delighted to find another director my age (the field is predominantly populated by those over 45), I was encouraged by the deft ways that she spoke truth and healing into the soul-numbing assumptions of our culture (both Christian and secular).
When I had the opportunity to meet Kristin in person at one of her A Beautiful Mess seminars, I discovered that all of my delight and encouragement has been well-placed. Kristin isn’t someone who just writes about the deep truths of the spiritual life—she lives them. In all the messy beauty of a life of intention, Kristin is full of grace, kindness and love. I’m excited and honored to introduce her to you.
Introduce yourself to the Anam Cara readers. Who are you? Where do you live? What do you do other than spiritual direction?
My name is Kristin Ritzau, and I am a recovering perfectionist who lives outside Los Angeles on an urban homestead. Currently, I am an adjunct professor at Azusa Pacific University, but I am also an author, speaker, friend, wife, and chicken owner.
What brought you to the ministry of spiritual direction?
I know it might sound funny to be a “recovering perfectionist,” but, seriously, spiritual direction brought me into recovery as someone whose life had always been measured by the expectations I thought everyone else had of me. Being burned out and tired all of the time were not ways I wanted to live anymore, but I didn’t know how to go about my life differently. As Henri Nouwen writes, burnout is not a sign that you are doingGod’s will. And when I finally faced that reality, spiritual direction was my medicine. I learned about spiritual formation in seminary and for the last six years have loved learning more and more about it by getting my certificate as well as attending week long contemplative prayer retreats every summer. My soul now longs for this way of life and keeps me investing into spiritual direction.
Why do you think spiritual direction is valuable?
To remember that I am not in control. As someone who always thought I needed control to survive, the value of spiritual direction has been the discipline of continuing to die to my false self and constantly reemerge as more and more of the person God created me to be. In the ministry I facilitate, A Beautiful Mess, it is my passion to create safe space for our authentic selves. Every season I see more and more need and value for these spaces—spaces where we can realize the beauty in the mess instead of trying to clean it up all the time. Spiritual direction allows us to be ourselves with the comfort of the Spirit (and hopefully others) in a never-ending organic process with the Creator. It’s invaluable!
What’s your favorite thing about being a spiritual director?
The mystery. Every time I lead an exercise or am with a person or writing, it is a wonderful mystery of what will emerge. The peeling back of layer after layer can be painful, but honestly, it gives me so much hope to know that there is always more to unearth in myself and others and most of all of God. The moments when stories, visions, and prayer click into place too—the “OH, that’s why this is connected to that!” moments—it is like a puzzle to which I might point out the border pieces, but working with others after we dump out all of the pieces out of the box and try to put it together in a new way, it is a joy like none other.
What question about spiritual direction do you get asked the most? (And/or what question do you wish you got asked?)
Get asked: What is spiritual direction? What does a session look like? Why do you do this? I’m thinking of becoming a spiritual director—what do I do?
Wish I got asked: To collaborate more—it can feel like lonely job sometimes because there is not always a centralized group around this burgeoning profession. I love doing this work, but I truly believe that together we are better, so I guess I have a question I’ve been pondering—how can we all support each other?
You were just given a yacht. What would you name it?
Mysterious Journey. However, that kind of sounds like a Dateline special that ends tragically… so maybe not….
Give us your life story in 6 words.
Dysfunction. Trouble. Found. Deconstruction. Wonder. Bliss. (Repeat)
Okay, you can have more than 6 words. Share your full bio.
My perfectionism was fueled at an early age by feeling the need to be noticed to due a workaholic father and practically single mother who was worried about my chronically sick younger brother. Even though I grew up in a faith-based home, I truly didn’t understand the love of Jesus until I was in college. It was there surrounded by a true community that I began to face my past and felt called to help others. This led me to seminary shortly after getting married to my husband, Nathan. We made our way to Los Angeles and were met with some hard realities of me becoming very sick, a new marriage, and job searches. Those were hard times where I came face to face with the guilt and shame I carried for so long because I never felt like I was enough. In facing those realities with a new community, my ministry, A Beautiful Mess was birthed out of this time with a group of women called to live authentically. Simultaneously, I was working with Student Life at Azusa Pacific University and fell in love with the educational process and creating safe space to learn and ask hard questions. I saw this need in myself as much as I did in what God was calling me to do vocationally and recently became an adjunct professor to invest in a new way of exploration. In our home life, this calling has led to planting most of our property with vegetables and raising chickens in our backyard. We long to live a simple life, but that doesn’t mean easy, and I plan on exploring what this looks like in much more depth as I head back to school to begin a Ph.D. program in Theology and Spiritual Formation very soon.
To learn more you can visit kristinritzau.com, I would love to hear from you!
To find out about A Beautiful Mess and/or contribute to the site, check out abeautifulmess.org
Anything you’d like to add?
I appreciate what you’re building here, Tara. Your collaborative spirit and authentic journey are examples to myself and others. Thank you for making this space.
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Thanks, Kristin! I’m honored to be on the journey with you, and excited to explore together what those collaborative places and spaces are inviting us all into!