When I first started scanning my bookshelves for books that have formed me spiritually (and reading Sarah’s post here), I realized that I’d set myself up. Pretty much every spine on my shelves has formed me in one way or another. This is one of the many reasons that I believe reading is so invaluable. By reading books, we are formed and reformed, pushed, pulled, challenged and soothed. Even the books on my shelves that I wouldn’t recommend are ones that have made some sort of impact on me, forcing me to think through my positions and beliefs, even if only about what constitutes good writing. So, today’s list of 10 is not exhaustive. It’s not comprehensive. It’s not even a list of the “top” books that have formed me spiritually. There are a few books that I’ve left off because I’m not done chewing on them. I may have read them weeks or years ago, but their effects are still rolling through me, still forming me in one way or another.
What this list is is a glimpse inside my soul at the 10 books that most jumped out at me when ran my fingers over bindings and bent before my shelves. In some ways, it’s a lectio divina of my shelves. As such, the list would be different if I had made it yesterday or if I were to make it tomorrow. Enjoy.
Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis
I became a Christian as an adult. In my mid-twenties, I found my spiritual longings inescapable. I was confused, tired, angry, driven and depressed. I wanted God (whoever He or She was) to make sense. I needed know someone else had wrestled with and thought through these questions, too. Lewis was that person:
“It is no good asking for a simple religion. After all, real things are not simple. They look simple, but they are not. The table I am sitting at looks simple: but ask a scientist to tell you what it is really made of—all about the atoms and how they light waves rebound from them and hit my eye and what they do to the optic nerve and what it does to my brain—and, of course, you find that what we call ‘seeing a table’ lands you in mysteries and complications which you can hardly get to the end of. A child saying a child’s prayer looks simple. And if you are content to stop there, well and good. But if you are not—and the modern world usually is not—if you want to go on and ask what is really happening—then you must be prepared for something difficult. If we ask for something more than simplicity, it is silly then to complain that the something more is not simple.” (40)
Finding Faith by Brian McLaren
Finding Faith formed me at the same time and in an almost opposite way from my formation by Mere Christianity. While Mere Christianity gave me answers—good answers, real answers—Finding Faith gave me questions of the same nature. With chapter titles like “Does It Really Matter What I Believe?” and “Why Is Church the Last Place I Think of for Help in My Spiritual Search?”, McLaren took on some of the very questions that I was asking without pummeling me with correct but unsatisfactory responses. At the end of each chapter he supplied me with additional questions to ask—of myself, of others, and of God. The questions eventually became prayers and the prayers became experiences. Finding Faith gave me permission to be on a journey, and the inscription on my battered copy reads, Tara,
May God guide you on your journey of faith. Seek and I know you will find. Luke 11:10.
Blessings,
Molly & Greg
Finding Faith formed me by giving me permission to question in the context of relationship. God met me there, and I’ve been questioning, journeying and loving it all ever since.
The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
I don’t know how many times I’ve read “A Word Before” at the beginning of The Ragamuffin Gospel aloud. I’ve read it to friends, I’ve read it to myself, I’ve read it to directees. How quickly the gospel of grace, love and forgiveness becomes a gospel of drivenness and guilt. How quickly my own striving took over from the loving embrace of God that I experienced in those early years after God opened my eyes to Him. Brennan Manning reminded me (as he has reminded so many) that I am poor in spirit, trembling, broken, and right to be so. He reminded me this God of grace came and comes and comes again for me as I am, and that all I need do is be embraced by a Father who forgives me before I even repent, One who loves me because of myself not in spite of myself.
The Genesee Diary: Report from a Trappist Monastery by Henri J. M. Nouwen
Although I could pick almost any book by Nouwen as one that’s formed my soul, I chose The Genesee Diary over The Prodigal Son (which I love as well) because in the Diary I read the words of a man just like me. Nouwen’s neuroses and struggles were my own, and his inability to overcome his ego is also my inability to overcome mine. In Nouwen’s irascible prose I heard echoes of my own whiny faith.
Tuesday, 13
This morning Father John explained to me that the killdeer is a bird that fools you by simulating injury to pull your attention away from her eggs which she lays openly in a sandy place. Beautiful! Neurosis as weapon! How often I have asked pity for a very unreal problem in order to pull people’s attention away from what I didn’t want them to see.
Sometimes it seems that every bird has institutionalized one of my defense mechanisms. The cowbird lays her eggs in some other bird’s nest to let them do the brooding job; the Baltimore oriole imitates the sounds of more dangerous birds to keep the enemies away, and the red-wing blackbird keeps screaming so loudly overhead that you get tired of her noise and soon leave the area that she considers hers. It does not take long to realize that I do all of that and a lot more to protect myself or to get my own will done. (108)
Inner Compass: An Invitation to Ignatian Spirituality by Margaret Silf
Inner Compass was my first laywoman’s introduction to Ignatian spirituality, and it captured my soul. In simple terms, Silf made the teachings of Ignatius accessible to me, giving me metaphors and exercises that helped me to see God’s hand in my journey once more. The images Silf uses to explain the concepts of consolation and desolation have stayed with me since I first read them. Inner Compass helped me to read the compass of my own soul, to test the winds and begin to trust the urgings of my heart as they led me forward toward God. Suddenly, I really had my own inner compass, along with a clear manual for its use.
The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence
Five years ago, I spent 9 hours on my knees scrubbing a friend’s basement floor. The linoleum was caked with dirt from years of use. I switched into new knee pads twice and when I was finished, every joint in my body ached. I had a raging headache from the fumes produced by the cleaning products we used. And, because I had just read Brother Lawrence’s The Practice of the Presence of God, it remains to this day one of the deepest, most intimate spiritual experiences of my life.
The most effective way Brother Lawrence had for communicating with God was to simply do his ordinary work. He did this obediently, out of a pure love of God, purifying it as much as was humanly possible. He believed it was a serious mistake to think of our prayer time as being different from any other. Our actions should unite us with God when we are involved in our daily activities, just as our prayers unite us with Him in our quiet devotions. (24)
Reversed Thunder: The Revelation of John & the Praying Imagination by Eugene Peterson
I could have picked almost anything by Eugene Peterson, from The Message to his most recent memoir, The Pastor. His words, his teaching, his life have inspired and formed me. When he speaks of God, I listen—and I am changed. I picked Reversed Thunder because it changed my relationship to the Book of Revelation. Frankly, I avoided Revelation. It scared me. It was hard to understand. I felt foolish and small in front of it, and, truth be told, Revelation is full of a lot of difficult passages both theologically and emotionally. Peterson’s book gave me a way into the final book of the Bible, a place of relationship, and an understanding of the centrality of worship. It opened the door of this part of Scripture to me, and when I walked in, I was transformed.
“Worship is the act in which our misunderstood and misspoken words are corrected and arranged into an expression of the whole truth of ourselves and our God; it is the act in which we find our fragmented lives corrected and arranged into a whole and perfect offering to God—by the action of the Lamb, we become ‘spotless’.” (129)
The Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard
Of all of Willard’s books, this one moved me the most. Not because The Divine Conspiracy didn’t—it did. Not because Knowing Christ Today doesn’t move me—it does. But because in the first half of the book (which most people skip because they find it too dry and dull), Willard wove together theology and spirituality in a way that made the disciplines suddenly not only imperative but attractive. Fasting, attractive? Yes, very much so. And I will be forever grateful.
The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery by David Benner
This is the first of a slim series of three volumes by David Benner that I find indispensable (the other two are Surrender to Love and Desiring God’s Will). Like Ragamuffin Gospel, The Gift of Being Yourself is an invitation to be honest with yourself before God—and find yourself loved, truly and completely. It’s also a great resource for understanding the false self—the part of me that I present to the world but isn’t really me. Benner’s book gave me a gentle introduction to my dark side, and allowed me to see that there were parts of me that I needed to accept rather than reject in order to stand fully before God.
Space for God: Study and Practice of Spirituality and Prayer by Don Postema
Space for God was just going to be another book for another seminary class. Spiritual Formation. A required course. Ho-hum. I thought it would be a bird course. Instead, it was a course that changed everything: my degree program, my career path, and my relationship with God. Space for God was a guide to making space for God in my life in ways that Bible studies, classes and Sunday school never taught me. Through nine guided weeks, I spent time in meditation and prayer, and began learning how to find silence and solitude in a schedule that made room for neither. Interacting with Space for God was like being taught to swim for the very first time. Overwhelming and awkward and first. Later, empowering and thrilling. All in the ocean of God’s love, a place I’d only been able to dangle my feet in up to this point. And I say interacting instead of reading on purpose—Space for God is filled with artwork and poetry, anecdotes and Scripture. You don’t simply read Space for God, you experience it.
And one more for good measure:
The Renovaré Life With God Bible
Although I love all sorts of Bible translations, this Bible is the one that I carry with me at all times. Frankly, I couldn’t get through a list of what’s formed me spiritually without mentioning Scripture, but not because I want to beat people with it. The Bible has been friend and foe to me, refuge and prison, a soft place to fall and a concrete wall that I have smashed my heart against. I love this translation and annotation of the Bible the best for lots of reasons (what can be better than quoting the Beatles in a footnote on the Psalms?), but most of all because it reminds me that this really is about life with God.
So, what about you? What would happen if you practiced lectio divina on your shelves, guided by a list of 10 books that have formed you spiritually?
Check back in each day for a new list, and be sure to click on over to Sarah’s blog to read hers as well. I mean, hey, she has a fancy button and everything:
Monday: 10 books that formed me spiritually
Tuesday: 10 books that I keep in my spiritual direction room
Wednesday: 10 books that I own but am embarrassed I haven’t read
Thursday: 10 books that help me pray
Friday: 10 books that remind me God’s the Great Storyteller
Saturday: 10 books I read on the weekends
Sunday: 20 books I read while writing my book