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Year: 2012

In Which I Imitate Sarah Bessey

Posted on by Tara Owens

As you know, last week was a rough week for those of us living and working in Colorado Springs. On Tuesday, Bryan, Hullabaloo and I scrambled to evacuate our neighborhood as flames from the Waldo Canyon Fire raced down the ridge toward our house. Driving by four-foot high flames was probably one of the scariest experiences of my life thus far (which is saying quite a bit, given that I’ve had a heart attack*). We know several families who lost their homes entirely. After four days of wondering if we’d ever return, the mandatory evacuation in our area was lifted. We came back to ashes in our garden and on our front lawn, but little other than the lingering smell of smoke to indicate that we’d fled for our safety.

I still need time to process this week with God. There’s a lot to unpack, and while I do that primarily by writing, this isn’t the first venue for those words. They’re something for me and Jesus and my spiritual director. There may come a time when some version of them appear here, but not for now. Suffice it to say that I’m grateful for all of your prayers and support—they mean more to me that I’m able to express.

In the meantime, Canadian blogger, mom and all around amazing woman Sarah Bessey is starting a series this week that invites us to peruse her bookshelves. (PS Happy Canada Day!) Like Sarah, one of the first things I do when I walk into people’s houses is check out their books. Reading is an obsession of mine, and it’s always enchanting to see what other people consider valuable enough reading material to keep around. Given that I took a suitcase of books with me when I evacuated (but somehow managed to forget to pack pajamas, go figure), I thought sharing some of my favorite books with you all while Sarah shares her shelves might just be the kind of exercise in inspiration that I needed. Plus, it gives you a gander at my own shelves and the books that are important to me.

So, here’s the lineup for this week for the Anam Cara blog:

Monday: 10 books that formed me spiritually

Tuesday: 10 books that I keep in my spiritual direction room

Wednesday: 10 books that I own but am embarrassed I haven’t read

Thursday: 10 books that help me pray

Friday: 10 books that remind me God’s the Great Storyteller

Saturday: 10 books I read on the weekends

Sunday: 20 books I read while writing my book

Check back in each day for a new list, and be sure to click on over to Sarah’s blog to read hers as well. I mean, hey, she has a fancy button and everything:

*I had a myocardial infarction in April 2010. Yup, me. At age 33. No high blood pressure, no high cholesterol, no family history. I’ve written a little bit about that here and there. One day I’ll write more. Not today.

Offering Hope

Posted on by Tara Owens

Click below to see the full image.

What Do Donuts Have To Do With Grace?

Posted on by Tara Owens

“Nicholas, if you don’t settle down back there, we’re not going to stop for donuts.”

Danielle eyed her son in the rear view mirror. His face mirrored back only defiance.

They were on the way home after a long day. There had been battles, spills and a refusal to get in the car. Nicholas knew the rules quite well, and this normally well-behaved boy was, for reasons unbeknownst to Danielle, deciding that today was the day that he’d pour out all the anger, angst and annoyance that it seemed he’d been storing up.

Nicholas started kicking the back of the driver’s seat, his face grim.

“I’m going to give to you the count of three to stop doing that, love,” said Danielle, as patiently as possible under the circumstances.

Kick.

“One…”

Kick, kick, kick.

“Two…”

Kick. Kick-kick-kick.

“Three.”

A pause. Danielle almost held her breath.

Kick, kick.

“Okay, buddy. You chose it. No donuts today.”

In the back, Nicholas was silent except for the rhythmic pounding of his little feet on the vinyl.

Danielle sighed.

• • •

Later, after they had stopped by the grocery store for a few items, Danielle found herself with Nicholas’s small hand tucked into hers, at the threshold of “their” donut shop. What the heck, she thought. He’s been pretty good since then. And why not?

She settled Nicholas at a table and went to pick out a few flavors. One for her, one for him. She could tell by his worried expression that he thought she was going to each a donut in front of her, so when she returned to the table with two donuts, she was surprised by his response.

“No,” he said, as she slid a plate bearing a full donut in front of him.

“No, no.”

“It’s okay, buddy,” said Danielle. “You can have it. Really.”

“No,” said Nicholas, his eyes brimming. “No, I was bad. I can’t have the donut.”

“But I said it was okay, buddy. You’re allowed to have it. It’s a freebie, alright?”

Nicholas’s bottom lip jutted out.

“No. I was bad. I can’t have it.”

Danielle decided that eating her donut might entice him to break and pick up his own, but Nicholas stayed stubborn.

“I was bad. I can’t have it,” he repeated to himself whenever he seemed to waver.

“Oh, buddy,” Danielle cajoled. “I want you to have it. It would make me happy if you took it. It’s really okay.”

“No, no, no.” It was like the little kicks on the back of her seat.

“No, I was bad.”

And then Danielle saw it, saw herself, in her small son. So aware of the rules. So careful to abide by them, so sure that those rules, whatever they were, were more important than grace.

• • •

Danielle told me this story in spiritual direction. I share it with her permission (and with names and details changed to protect confidentiality) because it’s such a good example of how we reject grace. It make be a little simplistic to think of grace as a free donut, but it really is. Unmerited favor. Love we don’t have to earn. Blessing we don’t have to perform for—indeed, don’t have to even be “good” to receive. 

While we may have an understanding that we don’t have to perform to earn God’s love, mercy and grace, we often forget that means that we receive grace even when we’re not “performing”, when we not “behaving.” We may have let go of needing to be “good” but we haven’t let go of needing to be “not bad.” It’s okay, we think, if God loves me when I’m not doing anything special. Underneath that lurks the belief that it’s still not okay for God to love me when I’m doing something “bad.”

Nicholas never ate the donut. Despite his mother’s permission, despite her wanting him to take it, he refused the gift. The rules were more important than grace.

• • •

Take a moment to think about your own journey with God over the past days and weeks. Where have you refused the gift because you had “broken the rules”? Where might God have been offering you grace that you simply didn’t want to receive? Where did you decide you weren’t going to eat the donut?

 

 

One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grainfields, and as his disciples walked along, they began to pick some heads of grain. The Pharisees said to him, “Look, why are they doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?”

He answered, “Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry and in need? In the days of Abiathar the high priest, he entered the house of God and ate the consecrated bread, which is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.”

Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.”

Mark 2:23-28

Friday Favorite: Psalms for Young Children

Posted on by Tara Owens

This Friday Favorite came to me courtesy of Micha Boyett, otherwise known as mama:monk. I’ve been following a few new blogs recently, Micha’s among them. While I’m not the mother of a young child, I have large number of friends and a smaller number of directees who are, and I’m always on the lookout for resources to help them in their journeys with God.

Micha introduced me to this gem of a children’s book, Psalms for Young Children, and I was enraptured. Not only have a shared it with friends with littles, I’ve been using these short yet complex distillations of the psalms for myself and in my practice.

Unlike a lot of children’s versions of the psalms, Psalms for Young Children doesn’t shy away from the difficult or dark musings of David. There’s even a version of Psalm 88, that famously 

unresolved psalm that leaves us sitting in the dirt and the dark, without hope of redemption.

I’m a big fan of praying the psalms (although I will admit to not doing it as often as I’d like). As I’ve found myself in a season of grief, the psalms have been a natural prayerbook, carrying me 

Psalms for Young Childrenmakes that even simpler, and yet more profound. Each psalm is condensed into a few lines, and the image beside itrendered in vibrant, crayon-like color. As I read through the pages, I find that I’m given permission to be child-like in my need. I can be scared, worried, sad, happy, tired or joyous without needing to plumb the depths of my emotions to sense their meaning or the underlying movements of my heart. While I think that discernment valuable, not every soul season gives rise to that kind of introspection. Psalms for Young Children gives readers permission to just be—something that every child (and every adult) needs more of.when I am too heart-tired to walk on my own two legs to the house of God.

Dancing With Swans

Posted on by Tara Owens

“The swans have taught me to pay attention.”

This is an interesting comment on dance, nature, physicality and the act of paying attention, which is seen by many contemplative Christians as the very act of prayer.

What does this story spark in you? What might God be saying, playfully through this incredible artistic endeavor?

Prayers for Trinity Sunday

Posted on by Tara Owens

 

The guarding of the God of life be on you,
The guarding of loving Christ be on you,
The guarding of Holy Spirit be on you
Every night of your lives,
To aid you and enfold you
Each day and night of your lives.

(from the Carmina Gadelica)

Almighty and everlasting God, you have given to us your servants grace, by the confession of a true faith, to acknowledge the glory of the eternal Trinity, and in the power of your divine Majesty to worship the Unity: Keep us steadfast in this faith and worship, and bring us at last to see you in your one and eternal glory, O Father; who with the Son and the Holy Spirit live and reign, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

(via Scot McKnight)

Blessing for Trinity Sunday

In this new season
may you know
the presence of the God
who dwells within your days,
the mystery of the Christ
who drenches you in love,
the blessing of the Spirit
who bears you into life anew.

(from Jan Richardson)

 

Almighty and everlasting God,
you have given to us you servants grace,
by the confession of a true faith, 
to acknowledge the glory of the eternal Trinity,
and in the power of your divine Majesty
to worship the Unity:
Keep us steadfast in this faith and worship,
and bring us at last
to see you in your one and eternal glory, O Father;
who with the Son and the Holy Spirit live and reign,
one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
Book of Divine Worship (and the Book of Common Prayer)

The Breastplate of St. Patrick

I bind unto myself today 
The strong name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this day to me for ever,
By power of faith, Christ’s Incarnation;
His baptism in the Jordan River;
His death on cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb;
His riding up the heavenly way;
His coming at the day of doom;
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of the Cherubim;
The sweet ‘Well done’ in judgment hour;
The service of the Seraphim,
Confessors’ faith, Apostles’ word,
The Patriarchs’ prayers, the Prophets’ scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord,
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the starlit heaven,
The glorious sun’s life-giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind’s tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea,
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, his shield to ward,
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours
Against their fierce hostility,
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan’s spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart’s idolatry,
Against the wizard’s evil craft,
Against the death-wound and the burning
The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the name,
The strong name of the Trinity;
By invocation of the same.
The Three in One, and One in Three,
Of whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
salvation is of Christ the Lord.
Translation: Cecil Frances Alexander

Siri & Jesus

Posted on by Tara Owens

Cameron Strang (editor of Relevant) posted this image from his recent conversation with his iPhone:

 

I was encouraged that the programmers of Siri would recognize their limitations.

How would you respond to this question? Or to someone asking this question of their phone?

A Prayer for Pentecost

Posted on by Tara Owens

Prayer of St. Bonaventure to the Holy Spirit

Lord Jesus, as God’s Spirit came down and rested upon you,
May the same Spirit rest on us,
Bestowing his sevenfold gifts.
First, grant us the gift of understanding,
By which your precepts may enlighten our minds.
Second, grant us counsel, by which we may follow
in your footsteps on the path of righteousness.
Third, grant us courage,
by which we may ward off the enemy’s attacks.
Fourth, grant us knowledge,
by which we can distinguish good from evil.
Fifth, grant us piety,
by which we may acquire compassionate hearts.
Sixth, grant us fear,
by which we may draw back from evil
and submit to what is good.
Seventh, grant us wisdom,
that we may taste fully the life-giving sweetness of your love.

Under Creative Commons License: Attribution

Lick Your Lips

Posted on by Tara Owens

“Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

That isn’t the whole of the story. Despite our dusty origins, we’re still longing for the water. For the hovering over, for the formed in the deep. We’re thirsty for it, wandering through the deserts of our lives in search of it. The Hebrew for soul, nephesh, always sounds slightly sloshy to me. Maybe it wasn’t so much breath that God gave us, but a wet kiss, giving our dry selves that slick sense of Him that haunts us to this day.

Lick your lips. Do you taste Him?

 

Home Improvement

Posted on by Tara Owens

I though I’d just share a quick note to let my Anam Cara community know that we’ve moved house—sort of.

For the most part, you won’t see any change to the AnamCara.com website. It looks like the old digs. The carpet’s still a bit faded in places, and the sofas still have a few odd marks. The soft warmth of the walls still embrace you with joy. A place is still ready for you at the stained kitchen table for you to pull up a chair, nurse a cup of tea and share your heart.

But behind the scenes, there’ve been quite a few changes. Technically, I can’t really tell you what those are—I had people much more versed in code work on the warp and woof of the structures that support this place. Behind the scenes, the roof has been replaced, the furnace refurbished. Behind the scenes, we’ve moved from TypePad to WordPress, in order to have a structure that supports us now and into a growing, quietly growing future. The leaky windows have been replaced, so as to better keept the drafts from snaking under your shirtsleeves and chilling your soul.

With all of those changes, there are bound to be a few stray nails around the place. A faucet may not work on the first turn of the tap. A light switch that used to work reliably may have become temperamental. 

Here’s my invitation: This place it yours as well. Together, we call it home away from home. So, if you find one of those places, a pile of sawdust swept under the rug, a link gone wrong—let me know. Together, we’ll continue tweaking, making AnamCara.com a place where contemplative, attention, grace and hope are offered and enjoyed by all.